Mad-

So I have been mad lately.  My feelings were extremely hurt and I have been angry.  So much that I was physically ill from it.  I have been praying and asking God to help me forgive the offender as He forgives my offenses.  I am sincere in this prayer, yet I have not been able to forgive.  I have held on to the anger and have just gotten madder!  Yesterday I wanted to scream and yell and just tell someone about it.  I called several close friends and no answer.  Hmm.  That is odd.  Then as I sat in my bedroom the overwhelming feeling of the Holy Spirit and His word came into my heart.  I needed to read the Bible.  This was going to be the answer, I just knew it! 

Week 3: Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land.

"If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Matthew 5-38:48

Okay God.  I get it.  I need to turn the other cheek.  I can't right now.  I am mad.  I was wronged more then once and I don't know why I have to be the bigger person here.  Why can't the offender come to me and apologize? Jennifer Kennedy Dean wrote, " Don't pray that your enemy will change to suit you, or that they will get what they deserve.  Pray blessings on them, you will soon find your heart following your prayers.  It takes strength to be meek." 

Hmm, I started thinking about that.  When I am angry I am at my weakest.  When I exercise humility and grace I am strong. I have been praying that I could give them mercy and grace and honestly I don't believe they deserve it.  The truth is we all deserve grace and mercy.  I am praying the wrong way for them.  I need to start asking the Lord to work in their hearts and to bless their lives.  He is already working on them, I know because as humans we are a work in progress.  For now I will remain a safe distance from them and pray, I know that God can work miracles and I am sure that one day this too can be restored.