Giving it over and not missing out on the loaves.

Monday was our quarterly Women's Series at KBC.  The topic was seeking God.  It was so good.  I will try to recap it for you so this post makes sense. 

When Jesus fed the 5000 with the loaves and the fish, it was a miracle, but the Disciples did not see it. "Their hearts were hardened" Mark 6:52.  They were not able to see this awesome miracle that should have blown them away.  There they were in the wilderness and the Son of God was performing one of His mighty miracles.  They were not seeking Him.  They were going through the motions. 

If we are actively seeking the Lord in all situations there is no way we can miss the miracle of the loaves.  The thing is that Jesus is the Bread, the Bread of Life.  He is what is needed to sustain us in the wilderness.  He is our sweet Manna from Heaven.  I don't want to miss out. I don't want to be hungry, or even worse, starving.

The key in seeking Him is to build an alter in ourselves and give all of our worries and fears over to Him.  That way He can take care of it and we don't have to worry about it. The whole point of an alter is to kill something and then offer it to God so that He can wipe it clean.  Wow!  Can you imagine creating an alter in your heart everyday and offering all of your junk to Him and having Him wipe it clean?  And on top of that actively seeking Him so that His Presence is before you in your everyday life..

There is so much going on here.  Troy's job, health (for all of us), finances, school and the list go's on and on.  I have doubts about a lot of things.  We, as a family, are in a wilderness. I have worries.  I  want to give them over and not worry about them.  For the most part I have.  But recently there have been some pretty "dire" situations in my home.  I have thought and thought about them.  Worried over them. Talked with friends about them.  Everything but actually give it over so that He can squash them. 

Yesterday was the first day I actually did give them over and leave them there.  It was day filled with grace and mercy.  Not only did I feel the Presence all day, my kids had a better day.  There was no yelling and when it was time to discipline it was smooth.  On top of that I did not once think about my situation. Not once did I worry about mortgage payments or hospital bills.  I didn't think about what kind of job Troy was going to have or not have! It was good.  And it happened because that morning I woke up and gave it all to Him first.  He took it and He stayed with me all day.

Today is day two of this new process.  I already feel peace.  I slept very little and normally this is the perfect makings of a disastrous day.  I don't think it will be, because He has promised to go before me.  I don't want to miss out on the loaves, I don't want to just go through the motions so that one day I can do it all again.  I want to get it the first time and tell others about it.