Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Peace that Passes...

Today Troy had his surgery on his foot.  It has been a long time coming and I am so glad he finally did it.  Hopefully this is the beginning of the end of this whole foot saga. 

Today I woke up at 430 am.  It was early but I was refreshed.  A friend came over to watch the kids and Troy and I arrived at the hospital at 515.  I was tired after sitting for a while and once they called him back I was ready for a nap.  Initially I sat alone while they got him ready (starting the iv and taking his vitals).  I was just sitting.  Not thinking about anything.  Not the surgery not my day, nothing.  They called me back and I got to talk to the doctor.  He was super nice and I knew Troy was in good hands.  They told me 2-4 hours.  What a window!  Anyway, I went back to the waiting area to eat some breakfast it was 7 am by this point.  I made the necessary calls and even prayed with Mom and Emily.  Emily made the comment about my nerves and for the first time I realized that I was not having any nervousness.  None!  Not one little smidgen. 

After breakfast I hung out in front of the surgery center.  I found a semi-comfy couch and took off my shoes.  I was in it for the long haul.  I fell asleep once and was awoken by a nurse calling my name.  It was a different Christi, oh well back to reading my book.  Fast forward 4 1/2 hours.  I realized that I had already read 18 chapters of my book and that they had still not called my name.  Where was Troy?  I thought that maybe I should pray.  I didn't know if they were even still operating but I went ahead and did it.  It went a little like this:

"Lord I know that you are in complete control.  I am not worried. 
Please continue to guide the hands of Dr. Jacobs.  
Thank you for your peace today."

It hit me.  I had not been anxious all day.  Not one time.  Not even when I had heard nothing.  I was all alone for several hours I had not had any distraction except for my book that was all about the love and sovereignty of my King! I have prayed for peace that passes all understanding before and I have felt at peace before, but never like this. God is good and I want to let you all know that too.  Many of you do, some of you don't.  But what I do know is that it is an awesome feeling and I pray that you all will feel it one day. 

Oh, and the surgery went well and there were some unexpected things but Troy is good and the doctor is hopeful that he will recover well!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Been meaning to post

I love blogging.  I feel like I can get stuff out.  I have never been a journaler (is that a word?).  I have tried but have failed at every attempt.  I wanted to journal my journey through the revival at church and I did for a while but then that too fell by the way side.   I was a consistent blogger for about 2 years, and that was 3 years ago.  So when I started again I had high hopes that I would keep it up.  Well you can all see that I have not been so diligent!  Here are few things that have happened since my last post.

1.  We are starting a Bible study/prayer group again in Joshua House.  This something that I always enjoyed with the ladies in my group.  I craved it and felt as though I was missing out on an important part of my week when I would have to miss it.  We stopped for many reasons. none that are important enough to tell.  I have felt a true loss since then.  Sure all the girls are still my friends but I have not had the same connection with them like I had before.  I felt the Lord tell me that we should be praying together.  It literally just came to me one day.  And when it came to me it was like that old proverbial light bulb going off.  So we are starting the new study tomorrow!  I am facilitating which can be nerve racking but really all it does is keep my accountable each week.

2. I got to meet with a new friend last week.  We have become blog/facebook friends and now we are real life I see your face friends.  Her girls are the same age as mine and I am hoping that relationship will grow.  It is so nice to find friends that are in the same season of life that you are in.  God has great timing when it comes to that I think.  I am so glad that I am a part of a church body were I can find these relationships.

3.  I have found that I have started some new relationships over the past several months and it has been really nice.  At the same time some old relationships have changed, some for the good and some for the bad.  This has been a trying few weeks for me and I have learned a lot about myself and others.  I have learned about how God would want me to act (and believe me, I have not always acted the best).  I have not enjoyed all that I have had to go through but I have come out unscathed.  And my faith is stronger.  I am seeing God work on me and that makes me grateful for the trials. 

4.  On a family note.  Troy is finally having his surgery on Thursday.  I have mixed emotions about that.  I am so very happy that his foot will be healed. It is also not going to cost near the amount we had expected.  But he is going to be out of work for 2-4 weeks and that my friends makes me nervous.  We will just have to wait and see.  I will keep you all posted.

5.  Jackson is doing great with school.  We finally started the first grade math book!  Yay!  And we are about to be on step 22 for SSRW.  His reading has really improved over the last few weeks. 

God is good all the time!

Monday, May 3, 2010


Yesterday I was overcome by God's goodness.  It started in worship service.  We sang such an awesome song called "Jesus is the Lord".  In it there is a part that says:

Your worthy of worship
Your worthy of praise
Your worthy of honor
your worthy of thanks 

The song speaks of how Jesus is the Lord and there is no other.  He is the Healer.  He is the One who overcame sin.  He is power.  He is worthy of all worship, praise, honor and thanks.  We owe it to Him.   I was overcome by these words.  Just knowing that one day every knee shall bow blows my mind.  He is so loving yet He is so just. I pray and mourn for those that do not know of His grace and mercy.
On another note I was able to reconcile with the person that hurt me.  I was approached by them.  Turns out it was a series of misunderstandings.  We both needed to apologize and we did.  Through this whole situation I realized that although I had a right to be upset I took it further then it ever had to go.  I let my upset turn into a rage.  When I did that it was no longer about the person I was mad at, it was about me.  I was making a mountain out of a mole hill and I was being selfish in the process.  I wanted to dwell on the anger.  As much as I hated it, I liked it.  How sick is that?  But I have to say, it is okay.  I am not walking in a circle in the wilderness about this anymore.  I have learned from this and I am continuing to walk in a straight line.  On my way to the "Promised Land".