Reflecting

*I had this whole thing typed out and Ellie tripped over the cord and I lost it all!*

So, everywhere you look there are lists and countdowns of the past year.  I started thinking about all the Lord has done and what we have been through and I was amazed.  Here are some things that happened in '09.

• In February, Troy was demoted at his job.  With it was a decrease in pay by 33%.  This was a little more then our mortgage payment.  Only a month later did we find out that our escrow account was short and that we would be paying an extra $200 a month for our mortgage.  Not good timing!  What was good was that I was able to start watching Caleb Caldwell which helped out tremendously.  
• Also at this time Troy had his heart "attack".  He had to have a stint put in.  We were scared.  But we had tons of help and our JH family really stepped it up.  This year our insurance changed and after a visit to the ER, surgery, two different hospitals, an ambulance ride, a night in the cardiac care unit and 4 total days in the hospital, we only had to pay $50!  Now that is a God thing!
• In June both of our cars died within days of each other.  I did not panic and was sure that the Lord knew it all and had all the details sorted out.  The Sunday that the van's alternator went out a family we barely knew gave us their car.  Yes, you heard that right!  Who does that?  The Lord that's who!  Oh and the ones who decide to be obedient!  
• In August I had surgery for endometriosis.  I don't know why I am all of the sudden having this but I am and I was able to have surgery and with the new insurance it only cost $25.  
• I took an awesome Bible study called "Anointed Transformed Redeemed".  It forever changed my life and I started school in August at the University of Phoenix online.  I was nervous at first but it has been good for me.  As I started thinking about my major and what God wanted me to do with it I felt like I should concentrate on sign language.  At the same time I was getting nervous about the way that schools in my district would accept my degree.  After sharing concerns with an acquaintance I found out that he was the vice principle of the elementary school that has the deaf ed program for KISD!  WHAT?!?!?!  He said that he was not worried about the school the degree was from he was worried about the teacher!  
  
• Jackson started first grade and struggled.  After 3 months it was clear to Troy and I that he needed something that the school could not provide.  We pulled him out and I have been homeschooling him ever since.  He has improved significantly.  He is still behind but he is getting there.  Just when I thought that it was getting to hard and felt as though we were getting nowhere, he read a book to me without issue!  God knew that I needed some encouragement.
• It seems as though we should not have our bills paid or that we should be struggling but in the past several months it feels as though money keeps appearing out of nowhere and even if it is not money it is things like the milk and bread miraculously lasting until Friday.  I can't explain it except say that God has provided for us greatly this year.  

We are excited to start a new year and we are ready for whatever God puts in our path.  Kay Arthur said it best "If we are not in a trial we are not growing in our relationship with the Lord."  How true those words were and are!  I like it when it is quiet but I love it when I feel close to Him and it always seems that I feel closest to His peace when it is chaos around me.

Burn out leading to excitement

I have been so burned out on everything lately.  I am not even thinking about the Reason for the Season.  I am over the music, lights, parties, and really anything else that goes along with Christmas.  How sad?  Last night I spent 90 minutes on the phone with a dear friend that I have not talked to in so long.  She has been a friend for a few years and always encourages my faith when I am around her.  Over the last year we have become the type of friends that just say hi in passing and that is so sad to me.  So last night I called her for something totally simple and we talked forever!  I got off the phone feeling so refreshed.  I felt as though the Holy Spirit just poured out His love on me like a shower with her words.  It was awesome.  I was reminded of the awesome worship time I had at Deeper Still and how I never wanted that feeling to leave and yet that was 2 weeks ago and I am already burned out?!?!?  After getting off of the phone I had to do the last minute shopping thing at Walmart.  It was after 9 and I was not looking forward to it.  There were some very rude shoppers (what else is new) but overall is was good.  I got everything I needed and left unscathed.  I got home and Troy had pulled all of the toys from the attic down and I wrapped gifts until almost mid-night. 

As I looked at the ubundant amount of gifts my cup began to run over.  I was so thankful that the Lord allowed us to be able to do this for our kids and family.  We stuck by our 3 gift rule and yet the tree is overloaded and that doesn't count the unwrapped stuff that goes under it today when Troy gets home. 

It is not about the gifts and I know it.  It is about the one and only Gift that was given so long ago.  No matter what you believe you cannot dispute that Jesus was born.  And let me tell you, He was sent to take on sin and to give us eternal life.  That is what December 25 is all about.   It should be called Thanksgiving, because that is what we should be doing. We should spend the day with the family and friends that the Lord has so graciously given us.  We should praise Him and exalt Him because He is the King of kings and the Lord of lords and He would humble Himself to become a human and suffer for the lives of the world. 

So my challenge for you this Christmas is to think of what He has done for you and to thank Him. 

Ellie had her first real ballet performance last night.  It was a Christmas program and she danced with her classmates to Away in a Manger.  She did so well!  I could not believe that she danced all of the steps and did not just stand there like a deer in the headlights.  After she was so proud of herself.  And we were proud of her!  Here is a video clip of her dancing.  I should note that half way into the dance I realized that I was not actually recording.  I have to still get this new camera figured out.  OK, need to figure out how to post videos!  I will soon.

Turning 4 and all things princess

Today my sweet precious Ellie T turned four!  I am so excited for her and sad all at the same time.  She is so different from Jackson at four.  I know it is mainly because she is a girl but really she is so different.  She already has those girly hormones!  She loves all things "beautiful" and she is the first to tell you what is and isn't.  She loves little things that she can carry in her hands and animals (stuffed and plastic).  She loves any and all things princess, pink and purple.  We jokingly call her our little hoarder although she doesn't hoard, she just likes her stuff.  She is sensitive to others and when your feelings are hurt, hers are too.  She cries when someone is hurt or sad (even characters on tv).  She is a great big sister and a wonderful little sister.  She is stuck right in the middle yet she does not get lost in the shuffle.  She is Ellie T and she is special!  I love her so very much and I am so humbled to think that God trusted me to raise her.  I love you Ellie, I hope you always know that! 

Busy Bees

I feel like the word Busy is so redundant in this stage of my life.  I am always busy, I have a lot on my plate.  I am wrapping up my second block of classes, trying to get caught up on homeschool stuff with Jackson, getting ready to be out of town for 2 weeks, and finally trying to finish Christmas shopping and all that goes with that.  We did finish the kids Christmas but I still have to get stocking stuffers and gift exchange stuff for the Cardiff Christmas and a gift for Kenneth.  Oh, and I have no wrapping paper so I will be adventuring out to walmart today and then heading over to the post office to mail Paisley her gift.  So yes my life right now in this moment is redundant! 
It is ok because there may come a day when I have nothing to do and I might even feel a little useless.  I will say though that I learned something this past weekend at Deeper Still.  I learned about resting in the Lord.  Rest is the activity of faith.  If we have faith we can truly rest.  I can't say that I am worried about anything right now or even that I am stressed.  I am going with the flow.  I just know that right now in my life God is taking care of it all.  I just found out that the van will not make it much more, we need that second car.  But I am resting in the faith that God will provide something else when we need it. 

Ampires and Mommies

I am sitting in the "school room"  messing around on the computer and all three of the big kids are sitting here coloring.  Ellie has a book with all kinds of things in it including a vampire and a mummy.  She calls them "Ampires and Mommies".  Just too funny so here is the conversation going on as they color.

J-Did you know that there are no more vampires?
E-what happened to them?
J-The army men are strong and they just killed them!
K-why?
J-Because look at there teeth.  They are sharp and mine are not.

These kids crack me up.  Who knows where they get this stuff!