Sunday, June 20, 2010

Been thinking

I have been thinking about life and plans.  We all make plans in life.  Most of the plans directly effect us.  I am a planner.  I get that from my dad.  He likes to be in the know and always feels better when there is a plan.  So when I think I have it all figured out I realize that much to my surprise I don't.  Isn't that funny how we all think that we know the plan and then it never turns out the way we wanted it to!?

My plan was to stay at home with my kids and maybe one day when they were much older and all in school get a job.  Then my plan was to go back to school and get a degree in special education so that I could teach.  This plan was great because all three kids would be in school when I graduated.  Then my plans changed when I began homeschooling (for just one year).  Now I am already planning second grade at home.  I was praying the other day and asking God why He wanted me to get into all of this debt to teach if I was just going to be a mom at home who home schools. "I thought you wanted me to teach!" Then in a small voice I heard "Who said I wanted you to teach?" WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!  I was so sure!  I don't think I was wrong.  I have been thinking about it and have come to the conclusion that I will use my degree even if it is not teaching.  It will be with special needs children but it will be something better then I could have imagined.  There have already been glimpses of things that I pushed out of my mind because I didn't see how that would be apart of the plan.  And now they have crept back in and I am starting to see tidbits of a future.

We will just have to see what comes of this.  Just some of what I have been thinking.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Need Answers?

Ask God.  That was the motto for VBS this year.  VBS was so awesome and I would not have changed one second of it.  I am worn out and feel as though I have been hit by a mac truck.  But those kids and their lives were so worth it.  That is the whole point of VBS.  We are there to teach them the love of Jesus and to show them that they are worth dying for.  After all that is what He did for them.  We did not have any kids come forward to accept Christ and that is okay.  Seeds were planted and they will be sown in the days, months and even years to come.  And one day the benefits of the seeds that were planted at Saddle Ridge Ranch at KBC 2010 will be reaped and it will be good.  I am humbled by that thought.  The thought that I am a small part of a life that will impact others with their testimony.  Because you see, that is what it is all about.  We (people) can't save anyone.  It is not our job.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say that it is.  It does however command us to go out and to share the Good News that is Jesus Christ.  When we do something wonderful happens in the lives of those that hear of Him.  If they choose Him there lives will be changed forever and who could ask for anything better?  The promise of eternal life and feeling the love of Jesus everyday!  WOW!  See why I am so humbled?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

It is very late and frankly I can't sleep.  This may turn into rambling but you will just have to bare with me. Did I just use the right bare?  Anyway.  My kids drive me nuts sometimes but for the most part they are a source of entertainment.  Who knew that this would be so fun? 

Ellie- I have a boyfriend.

Me- (shocked) You do?

Ellie- Yes, it is Jacky.

Me-Why?  Is he cute?

Ellie-No!  He is handsome!

Oh no!  It has started and she is serious about this guy.  She gets giggly when she sees him in the hall way at church.

Charlotte has started this new thing where she likes to blow on your tummy.  She cracks me up because she cracks herself up.  I love that little turkey.

Jackson is such a big helper.  He has been doing so much around the house since Troy's surgery.  He has not one time complained.  He is such a sweet boy and already he has a servant's heart.  I am so excited to see how God chooses to use him. 

Saturday, June 12, 2010

It could be worse

My life can be difficult and sometimes I wish I could crawl in a little hole and sleep.  But the fact is there are many more things that could be going on that are much worse.  On May 15, 2010, my friends Steven, Sherry, Emma (9) and Eiley (2) were in a horrific car accident that claimed the life of Emma and left Sherry severely injured.  Sherry was in ICU on a ventilator.  The word 2 Sunday's ago was that Sherry may have to have a tracheotomy.  My heart sank, "No God, she can't have this, she needs to get off of that thing completely!" I prayed right then, asking the Lord to heal her lungs and reduce the swelling in her throat.  He heard and He did!  That night the tube was removed! I was so excited.  A whirlwind of events happened and Sherry is now in Houston at one of the top rehab facilities in the US.  She is doing better then she was a month ago, but she has a long road ahead.  Her mind is still not connecting all of the dots.  (that is the best way to describe it).  It is like she knows it all but somehow it is getting jumbled up when it tries to come out.  My prayer for her is that God would reconnect those links that are loose.  That He will knit her mind and her body back to the way it was.  That she will come out of this horrific ordeal unscathed.  Sure she will be changed but it will be for His glory and nothing else!  God is good.  I know He is.  There have already been so many answered prayers for Sherry and the Key family.  If you read my blog and didn't know about this family please join me in praying for them.  They are so precious to us and we can't wait to have them back.  Emma will never be able to join us again but I know that she is in heaven with Jesus and we will see her again soon enough!  This is a little excerpt from an update from Steven about Emma:

"She was so bold and fearless in her testimony and her faith.
Her life touched so many people and the fact that she 
did so much in so little time as a Christian is a 
testament to His handiwork. I am truly honored that 
the Lord allowed me to be a part of her life for nearly nine years. 
I sure do miss her though."

Friday, June 11, 2010

Something I am learning

In my quest to learn about boundaries and the fact that mine are so blurred or non existent in some cases; I have found that I am so over committed that I am exhausted all of the time.  I had a friend tell me that it was not normal to be so tired all of the time.  She was right.  It's not!  I am physically tired but mentally and emotionally drained.  I was asked the other day "How do you get refueled? How do you get [what you have given] back?" I had no answer.  I find myself going at full speed and then slowly feel myself deteriorate.  Something else that I knew but needed to hear from a friend was that when I get this burnt out I withdraw from those who care about me most.  I never looked at it that way. But that is what I do.  When I need the most help or the most support I withdraw and hide.

One other thing.  I always wondered why my kids felt that they could crawl on me anytime, come into the bathroom with me, and generally have no regard for my privacy.  Some mom's would say that "We are mom's that is just the way it is."  My kids don't do these things to their father.  It is not because they love me more then him.  They love us both.  The difference is that Troy has set clear boundaries for them.  They are not allowed to do those aforementioned things with him.  He likes his own space and privacy and set those boundaries very early on with them.  I have always thought it was a little harsh because they are his kids, doesn't he want them to be around him all the time? He does love them and he does want them around but we all need our space!  Even my 22 month old needs her space! By setting clear boundaries with them he is showing them love.  I have started setting clearer boundaries with them.  It is hard because in some cases I am trying to break a 7 year habit.  There has been resistance and some temper tantrums but over all I think that it is going well. 

This is not an overnight fix (although that would be nice!).  I am taking it one day at a time.  That is all I can do at this point.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Waiting to Exhale

Summer is already in full swing.  When May left ballet, football, Wednesday night activities, and all of those other commitments went with it.  Deep breath in. Wait for it. Wait for it. EXHALE. feels good.  Troy is still home and it causes me to be lazy.  But you know what?  I like it.  I like that laundry can sit folded in 6 baskets and wait a week to be put away and no one really cares.  I like that I am not pacing by the door staring at the clock anticipating his arrival so that I can jet out the door to my next thing. Instead we go to the pool or hang at Lindy's. We play music really loud and laugh while the kids "shake what their momma gave 'em"! We eat PB&J for dinner because we have just been snacking all day.  The kids are more relaxed.  They aren't complaining of boredom yet. 

We have been preparing for VBS and it is going to be a ton of fun. Then I am planning on making a trip up to Ft. Worth to see the 'rents.  It will be fun and there will be no stress because there is NO plan!  I love it!!!!!!  FREEDOM!

Here are some pictures of what went on in May.

Our hero, Jay Senterfitt comes home from over a year in Afghanistan.
The last one is Troy's nasty foot! He had 42 staples, 5 incisions and 4 screws in his foot.  Not to mention the putty and cadaver bone that is in there! OUCH!!

Friday, June 4, 2010


The other day I noticed that I was getting frustrated because some of the blogs I follow had not had a new posting in a while.  Then I noticed......I HAVEN'T POSTED EITHER!!!!!  So I will explain briefly and then promise that it will all come back again soon! 

I have been extremely busy with life.  Ballet, football, countless church commitments, my school, Jackson's school, the list goes on and on.  Troy had his surgery and is still home from work.  So every time I log onto blogger I think I should post something but then decide I don't really have time to think about my post and then post and then add pictures, but I digress.

I have also been going through a lot in my spiritual life.  It has not all been good, that is for sure!  But as someone very wise pointed out I am learning these things because I am about to grow!  God is good.  Right now what I can tell you without going into too much detail (because of time) I am learning about boundaries.  I have none!  They are blurred and I have aloud myself to be put in situations that utterly exhaust me!  In turn my family, myself, and even friendships have suffered.  I am turning over a new leaf.  It is going to be hard at times but  
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you
meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the 
testing of your faith produces steadfastness." (James 1:2-3, ESV).  

That is what God gave me this morning.  It just goes to show that He knows what trials I am facing and that He is in the driver seat.  I am in the passenger seat, I have to choose whether I look out the window or not!