Something that I have noticed in my life and in this journey is that after a really big high from the Lord I usually have a deep plunge.  Earlier this week  I posted an awesome testimony of God's goodness in my life.  I was at the top of the mountain.  Today I sit in front of my computer at the bottom of the valley.  I have been praying and asking God to get me out.  He will, I just have to learn why I am here first.  (He is funny that way!).

I was getting ready for church and the whole time I was having this HUGE pity party for myself.  I started thinking about what caused it and there were a few things.  One was the show that I watched last night.  It really brought me down.  It is one of my favorite shows but the content was so graphic and so inappropriate that it actually kept me from getting a good night sleep.  For awhile now I have felt like I should stop watching such shows but I have yet to do it.  I think that this is the kick in the pants I needed! :) Second, I feel very lonely.  There have been some situations with friends that have happened recently that have been quite insignificant and yet Satan has been able to take them and twist them and made me feel like I didn't have a true friend in the world.  I know that is not true.  God has placed an awesome group of women in my life.

As I fought back tears, feeling sorry about myself, I started telling myself truth. The truth is that I am a child of God.  He loves me above all other things and that is what truly matters.  Not what is on TV and not my earthly relationships.  Sure God has put people in my life to love on me and to encourage me, but really the most important thing is my relationship with Him.  Without Him I have nothing! 

I went to church this morning still battered.  Worship was good.  I just cried the whole time.  I felt close to Him.  There was a new song that we sang (I will get the words and post them here) that was so powerful.  We then had an awesome sermon on legalism.  It was out of Galations.  It reminded me of God's true grace and how much He loves me.  I let things get in the way of that and that is so silly.  We all do though, I think. 

Even in our ABF we talked about faith and it made me feel good.  Thankful that God never goes back on His promises.  That even though he called Abraham to offer Isaac as a sacrifice, He did not require him to do it.  He instead allowed Isaac to be the fulfillment of the promise made to his father so many years before. 

Life is not going to always be easy, this we can count on.  I just have to remember that when I am doing something to further His kingdom then I will be on the enemy's radar.  But I am protected by the Sword of the Spirit and the power that is in the name of Jesus Christ.

 ¹ Blessed is the one
   whose transgressions are forgiven,
   whose sins are covered.
² Blessed is the one
   whose sin the LORD does not count against them
   and in whose spirit is no deceit.
 ³ When I kept silent,
   my bones wasted away
   through my groaning all day long.
⁴ For day and night
   your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
   as in the heat of summer.^[b]
 5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you
   and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
   my transgressions to the LORD.”
And you forgave
   the guilt of my sin.
 ⁶ Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
   while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
   will not reach them.
⁷ You are my hiding place;
   you will protect me from trouble
   and surround me with songs of deliverance.
 ⁸ I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
   I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
⁹ Do not be like the horse or the mule,
   which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
   or they will not come to you.
¹⁰ Many are the woes of the wicked,
   but the LORD’s unfailing love
   surrounds the one who trusts in him.
 ¹¹ Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;
   sing, all you who are upright in heart!

Psalm 32